So, reading Blue Like Jazz and Reason For God has got me thinking-my life is boring and pointless. Sounds harsh, but its true. I haven't done a whole lot with my life except become really good at guitar, learn to surf, and have a good time. I haven't done anything very bad, or even illegal- well, I take that back. I did steal a satsuma from a neighbor's tree coming back from a surf one day last fall, but it was kind of overripe anyway, and they weren't even going to pick them. (Darwin would have called it natural selection, but he still hasn't said whether he thought it was right or not.)
Whether or not my life has been "good", it hasn't been useful to a whole lot of people. My greatest accomplishment has probably been my ability to play the guitar. I'm not gonna lie, I am actually very good, and have been playing professionally for a couple of years now. But the only really great use i've put that to is leading worship. worship through music is present whenever music is heard and changes our heart to admire God. At first, I didn't realize this.
About two years ago, i was in a band. We were good-we played shows around town and things like that, and led worship at a church on Sunday night so we could practice in their Youth Room on Saturdays. Sooner or later, the lead singer went off to college, and we eventually drifted apart.
About a year ago, the Youth Pastor of the church we practiced at asked me if i would lead worship for them again, since they had no youth band. I had never been in front of people without a band, so i figured i should start practicing if i didnt want to make a fool of myself.
So, i did. I became very good at talking into a microphone, and very good at saying spiritual things. I could fake my way through a worship set without even thinking about the one i was (supposedly) singing to.
I eventually became fed up with the whole business, but not for the reasons you would think. People stopped coming, and the ten or twenty people now coming on sundays to FMC Youth wasn't enough to satisfy my craving for attention.
It wasn't until almost 3 months later that I realized what I had done. I hadn't been worshipping God, and I certainly wasn't leading anyone anywhere but a place to admire how good at music I was. I hadn't been loving God-i was simply using him. writing this, i now realize what a sin it is to misuse the name of God.
I also now realize how important it is to believe in and to fight for something-to literally spend yourself for something bigger than yourself.

The book of James says that the only religion that God accepts as pure and faultless is taking care of the poor, and keeping yourself from being polluted by the world. In my life so far, I have been too focused on the latter. Don't get me wrong, it is a worthy goal, but it is only half of the picture. God redeems and cleanses us by the blood of Christ and the Holy Spirit for the purpose of us spilling ourselves for one another-and i feel so much more excited now that i realize this.